i am so excited i am going to start a new blog soon. we're buying a house. Our first house. Cute and nice and it needs A LOT of work. So I will blog about it so people (mainly my family and friends) can be part of it even from far away. I am just waiting for closing. Hopefully that will be soon. Also I am waiting for the day to move back to the US. I've been away for almost one year now and although it was nice and important to be here for this time (God knows how much this time spent with my father before his passing meant to me) it is time to go back and finally make it HOME!!

So I am still stuck in the same place I've been for the last year or so. Life stopped for a while and although I did complain a lot, and I mean A LOT, about it for a while, I have to admit I am OH SO THANKFUL it did.

So I did everything by the book. I had a plan. I went to school, I graduated. I had a job. Then I met hubby and that meant leaving things behind to move to the US. I did. We planned for baby#1. He (Thomas) came exactly when we wanted (how many people can actually say that, hu?) - after hubby graduated and I got pregnant so I'd deliver before summer, trying not to be miserable when it's 90 degrees outside... and baby was born April 29th! Perfect! And right around this time things stopped going according to plans... I was about 7 months pregnant when hubby lost his job. That was February. We were renting (thank God!). We decided to give the house back to the landlords and I decided to come back here (here is Brazil) and bring baby for my family to meet while hubby would stay with his brother and look for a new job and a new place. I arrived here the day baby was turning 4 months AND I FOUND OUT THE DAY BEFORE THAT I WAS ALREADY 2 MONTHS PREGNANT. And the plan was to stay until a little after Xmas. Unfortunately my dad has a stroke in the beginning of November and was in and out of the ICU for 4 months. I just could not go back to the US. Plus, hubby could not find a job so he was here most of this time supporting me - pregnant, with a little baby in my arms and my SO BELOVED AND NOW MISSED FATHER in the hospital. Dad passed away on March 8th, 3 weeks before I gave birth to Nicholas - baby #2. Nicholas was born March 29th, exactly 11 months after his big brother Thomas and exactly 3 weeks after my dad passed. I thought I was going to die, anyone who has ever lost a father who they adored knows the feeling, but add that a baby and a pregnancy and you have a recipe for a breakdown. But oh GOD IS GREAT! He took my husband's job so I could come and my father could meet his first grandchild. So I could be here to hold his hand for long hours at the hospital. So I could kiss him, hold him, laugh, cry, and pray. So I could be here and have the support of my small but very close family. So I could hug my brother at that horrible time we just don't ever want to come. God kept my husband unemployed for OVER ONE YEAR so he could be here with me (and even gave him airline privileges through an AWESOME friend so he wouldn't spend much traveling back and forth). God knew I needed him by my side. And then, on the same week my father passed away hubby got a job offer! He asked the people if they could wait for him (he explained I had just lost my father AND I was due anytime). And they did. So now hubby has a job in the US. I am still here because I just had my gallbladder removed (gallstones) and because hubby now is looking for a place for us! Then he's coming to get us (I do NOT look forward to traveling with 2 babies) so I don't have problems with immigration (I have been away from the US for almost one year).

Anyway, I finally felt I was able to write about this so difficult times. It is never easy, but I do have to be thankful for having the opportunity to be here and be with my father, and say goodbye and come to peace with everything that's happened.

My dad was only 61 years old, SO SMART, SO HANDSOME... I really wish he had met Nicholas, but God knows best and with that I am ok.